Month: July 2015

Family Isn’t Always Blood Relatives

Throughout the course of my husband’s career in the military we were afforded the opportunity to live in various states throughout the United States and different countries around the world. No matter where we lived, there were people who welcomed our little family with opened arms. We forged friendships that have lasted through the 20 years he was active duty.

These friends are more like family to me as they  have shared in the highs (births, graduations, promotions, celebrations, etc.) and the lows (deaths in families, deployments, among other things). I am so thankful for the people that I have chosen to be my family.

When my husband decided to retire, I was glad we were going back to a state that we had lived in four times before during his career. I was excited because I would be close to my relatives and had high hopes that we would become close and they would also share in the celebrations and support with the lows. Maybe our being gone so many years forged some sort of huge gap in between us. My parents don’t really show interest in our children. My children do not know their maternal grandparents…and quite frankly, I don’t think I know my parents anymore. As for siblings, it’s all a social media show. There’s the cute ‘I love you’ or ‘I miss you’ posted on newsfeeds, but other than that there’s no gatherings, no visiting and I am disappointed. I guess I had this fantasy that we’d all be close and adjust our schedules to meet at wherever, that grandparents would drive the 2.5 hours for graduation and celebrations, or even support after surgeries. No, that doesn’t happen with my blood relatives.  Instead, that occurs with my military family.

I have tried to stay present in my relatives’ lives. I often feel shut out. That’s okay. I am thankful for those that choose to be present in my children’s and my own life.

Growing Pains

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Three years ago, my husband and I sent our oldest son off to University. He chose to attend a school three hours away from his home. Despite the ease of hopping in a car and driving to visit him, I had a really hard time letting go and celebrating his new phase in his life. I worried so much about him: was he eating regularly, was he studying and prioritizing his time, how was he adjusting to living in a dorm room with a roommate, and if he was making friends.

This year our second son leaves for University in mid-August. Unlike his older brother, he chose a school three states away. My husband, myself, and son #2 visited the school for orientation. Beautiful campus, small campus, small school, and my son loves it. Admittedly, I do too-I just hate the distance. Whoever said that sending kids off to college was emotionally easy told a big fat lie.

Recently, we confirming with all three of the boys about an upcoming trip to Chicago. Our oldest told us he couldn’t go because he had started a new job and couldn’t ask for time off, the youngest confirmed he was going, and the second child said, “I kind of wanted to stay home and hang with friends.” Wait a minute-what?! I said something to him in reference to he’s already been hanging out with friends most of this summer and was really counting on spending a vacation with him before he left for college. I was met with the reply, “Mom, you’ve seen me every day for 18 years. It looks like you’d be able to deal with me being gone for three months until Christmas.”

That’s how I am going to look at things when he leaves in August: he’s only gone for three months. And slowly the denial that the little boy who professed to never want to grow up and would never leave home indeed DID grow up and IS leaving home will start to dissipate…..

Now I wonder about his job selection: Will he not want to grow up to be an ice cream man anymore?

Introduction, First Post, and Rogue Ramblings.

Hello Fellow Bloggers and Readers!

I used to find it difficult to write about myself. Actually, I still do. I’ve been defined many years by the different hats I have worn. I am “Mom” to three, “Honey” to my husband, “Teacher” to the 20 pre-k students I am honored to teach each year, “Friend” to those whom I am close to, “Sister” to my three sisters, and “Daughter” to my parents. I am sure there are a plethora of names I have been called either to my face and I have forgotten or behind my back which went unheard.

Underneath all of those titles I am me: an amateur picture taker, want to be writer, over ambitious teacher, lover of words, foods, my pets, and sappy movies.

I am new to blogging as I typically write in my notebooks so I am sure there will be a learning curve as I muddle through all of this. Come along with me as we explore lessons I’ve learned in life, questions I have of life, happenings of the day, and who knows what else!

Thanks for reading and spending time with me!

~Rogue